Burnout

Michael Crawford is luckier than most of us: he gets to do what he loves, and he does it to great acclaim. Known for an impeccable work ethic, Mr. Crawford trained himself to do his own stunts in musicals like Billy and Barnum. His most famous role is the Phantom, the opera ghost of the musical, The Phantom of the Opera. He starred in over 1300 performaces, even when his voice was exhausted, as he knew people had bought tickets to see him as the Phantom, so he didn't want to let them down. Much later, he designed his own fat suit for the Antony Lloyd Webber musical The Woman in White, but was forced to stop after 3 months. The suit drained his body of fluids, making him ill. Then he found out that he contracted ME,an abbreviated term for what most call chronic fatigue syndrome. He moved to Auckland, New Zealand to recover his health. While convelesing, Mr. Crawford learned to garden, fish and enjoy life in the moment. Recently he has returned to acting in a theatrical rendition of The Wizard of Oz.

I came across an article about Michael Crawford's illness, and read some of the subsequent comments. Many theorized that he wasn't sick, but exhausted by his years of dedication to performance arts. Mr. Crawford has a reputation as a workaholic: he would do 8 shows a week, usually showing up three hours before each performance. He has been in show business for 50 years--really. So what happened to him? One called it burnout. The commenter noted that Mr. Crawford refused to marry again because his work had cost him his marriage. So perhaps nature was catching up to him.

I'm not going to discuss the prejudice against chronic fatigue syndrome. But the subject of burnout is all too near to my heart. What can you do when your job no longer makes you feel fulfilled? When you dread your work, when the mere thought of showing up makes you feel tired and irritable, you may be suffering from burnout. And it is the public based professions that suffer the most burnout, from social workers dealing with wayward kids to rock musicians. Dealing with the public is very hard, people are callous and indifferent to the superlative effort it takes to deal with strangers with various agendas day after day. Burnout can cause some of the same symptoms as chronic fatigue syndrome. But it isn't a medical category for disability.

We don't live in a society that encourages rest, just wasteful leisure activities. Sure, park yourself on the couch and download video games or recent movies. Watch your cable bill go sky-high as you relax with brain-numbing crud after a hard day at work. Make sure you have a few cold ones nearby to hasten the buzz as you forget the horror of your job. Then go text a few folks on FB to bitch and moan. Wait for the comment that scolds you for your lack of gratitude. After all, you have a job. Suck it up, cupcake. And so it continues.

A tired, angry populace will cease to contribute productive value. It may turn on itself. Some people only define themselves through their work. Achievement is everything, because someone told them on their walk through life that they aren't important unless they do something. So they do, do, do and blame everyone else who doesn't act the same. They often give birth to children who are required to thrive in their love of massive achievement. At some point, there is a reckoning, a dull questioning stare as they march to the slaughterhouse of crushed energy. Am I happy? What did I prove? What price did I pay for all this faceless approval? Then the vision fades and it is back to the treadmill of look at me, look at my kids, look at my friends, please, just look and admire. Don't you wish you were me?

In yoga, this would be called an inauthentic existence, one that is based on sensory perceptions instead of truth. More on that later.