These two holidays are particularly grim. Both turn love into a commodity. Maternal love is so primal--our relationships with our moms have more influence over our future than others. When I worked in the public schools, I took classes to understand the problems of urban children. My professor said: "If the child has a bad relationship with his or her father, there is still hope that you can bring that child back. But if the mother is the main problem, there is nothing you can do, especially if she is gone." I don't think he is entirely correct, but it still stayed with me.
Today I listened to Kenny Chesney. I stopped listening to most country music a few years ago; it reminded me of love forever lost to the grim reaper, severed relationships in media res. All that was too real, and I couldn't face reality as all I saw was death. So good old Kenny sings one of the most painful songs I've ever heard: "Better as a Memory." It left me in tears. But that is what love does. It touches our most vulnerable parts that we jealously hide from public view. Sometimes we cannot distinguish love from the person we love. When we become so entrenched, Kenny is right: love is better as a memory. As long as it enters the realm of thought, we finally can control it, doling love out in portions--each slice dependent on what we can handle for the day.
No one teaches us to be a parent. So how can we learn to love? Everything is trial by fire. Most of us lose, especially when we think we are winning. Why does our world force us to stoop to the level of consumer when it comes to love? Who came up with this crap? Even our pain can get someone rich. Is there any wonder why adult children stop talking to their parents or romantic relationships fall apart? If money and silly toys epitomize love, then we have lost all connection to Spirit. I would give all my money, my career, all my things to spend an hour with my departed loved ones. I don't think there is money or manufactured holidays on the other side of life. Good. I don't want to deal with too much baggage.