Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Setting Our Relationships Right:: Awareness
As long as we are in this body, we learn about ourselves when we see how we interact with others. This calls for strict objectivity--no excuses, no games, no exits. Our relationship to authority begins in childhood. We see power as external because children are unaware of personal power; they obey a stronger force--generally a parent. This sets us up for all our relationships. Bhagavan says that an unhealed relationship with a mother leads to a breakdown in all relationships--a constant sabotage of possibilities with obstacles galore. The unhealed paternal relationship creates difficulties with the material world, usually manifested as financial woes. These patterns can shift and even appear to cease, but when a trigger comes along, something falls apart.
I've been spending the last two years trying to heal broken relationships. In many cases, I've had great success. Others are mending. I am paradoxical; inadvertently I have a ratio of 2 good relationships to every mediocre one. But I would like to think I have learned to overcome sick relationships that hurt me and others. I really thought I had that one beaten. Think again.
In order for me to emulate light, I can't willfully hurt others. If I choose to abstain from meat, decry the taking of innocent lives and fight against a corrupt food industry, then I have to watch what I do with those closest around me. It is easy to say: I can't be friends with so and so--he's bad for me; he gets me thinking negative thoughts. What do I do to him? Maybe I am just as damaging? Maybe he's better off staying far away from me? Poison is metaphorical in our relationships. It can sink us into a slow kill or just make sure we stay sick.
As technology gets more sophisticated, our relationships suffer. But the fault does not lie with smart phones, it is our need to hide behind some apparatus that creates the pain. Then we judge the other based on an illusion we try to maintain. Things are always better when people can communicate honestly so that everyone is aware of what's going on. But honesty is an increasingly rare commodity--particularly when we want to see ourselves as more successful in relationships than we really are.
Days like today I feel sick inside at who I am. I don't blame anyone. I just want to be better. I have to be more careful about who I let grow close to me--not only to protect myself but the other person as well. I can't expect people to be something that they are not. Right now I suppose I'm seeking something perfect in others. But I know better. Perfection cannot be attained while we live on this earthly realm. We seek it inside our hearts where our spiritual self lives. That is the part that will travel when we leave this place. Until then, I hope that I can learn to make all my relationships right enough so that there is a little less pain in the world.